literaturewank:

"Your mom is gaaay!"

"Which one?"

"…"

[stunned silence]

Some kids are arguing on my street, one has lesbian moms. I fucking can’t breathe.

pulpdrinker:

sex tip!! when he puts it in, yell ‘what are u doing in my swamp’

skypestripper:

u can tell a lot about a person by their background on their phones

me at friends house
friend: so... what do u wanna do
me: idk its ur house
friend: idk ur the guest
me: idk its ur house

englland:

englland:

Egg whites? Why not egg blacks? End homophobia now!

image

(Source: englland)

“I wanna be your idea of perfect”

Jay Gatsby (Leo)

(Source: cloclounique)

theyre:

Make fun of your baby for shitting itself