plantsmoke:

“goodnight tumblr!”
*jerks off 4 times*
“i couldn’t sleep :/”

(Source: 55mph-archive)

lennonlively:

i told this girl she smelled nice today and she’s like

“sorry i’m not gay”

bitch i said you smelled nice not i want to lick your pussy

1sabel:

Today in geometry, this guy was going on a rant about how we waste paper and it’s killing trees and I was getting really annoyed and turn around and yell “YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE WAS A WASTE OF PAPER!” and the class got really quiet and then you hear my teacher go ohhhhh snap she went there

microsoftbob:

microsoftbob:

when boys hold u by yr waist and make you feel tiny
when you kiss boys and you can feel their stubble
freckles on boy
body hair on boy
spooning with boys
when boys get hard while spooning and you can feel it and its really cute
boys in the abstract
boy

1 year later and I’m a lesbian

boomsticks-and-firewater:

puellamagidolaon:

lovrdlogic:

When you crack your knuckles you hurt the skeleton inside you

Good, the skeleton needs to know that I am the alpha and I am in control.

Break your own bones to establish dominance over skeleton.